Friday, October 4, 2013

.some thoughts on miriam casey.

obviously - i have no first hand knowledge of the situation.
obviously just going off news reports.
i am not a medical professional.
just my thoughts on a topic heavy on my grieving heart this morning.
gotta say it.

miriam carey.
34 years old.
my heart hurts this morning and the tears keep coming. 
it seems clear this woman was not well.
from news reports it appears she suffered from mental illness after having her baby.

seems people thought she looked & acted just fine.
yeah, well, most women don't rock the andrea yates look while suffering from depression.

here are some quotes from people who 'knew' her:
I am absolutely shocked that she could be implicated in this... She was responsible financially—just a nice person—there’s nothing that would lead me to believe she would be capable of doing this.” (source)

"I would never in a million years believe that she would do something like this... It's the furthest thing from anything I would think she would do, especially with her child in the car. I am floored that it would be her." (source)

"Nothing would have led us to think she would have done this," (source)

now, here is information from the people who really knew her:
Carey's mother, Idella Carey, told ABC News Thursday night that her daughter began suffering from post-partum depression after giving birth to her daughter, Erica, last August.
"A few months later, she got sick," she said. "She was depressed. ... She was hospitalized." (source)

Carey's boyfriend contacted police in December saying he feared for the safety of their child, who was 4 months old at the time, according to a law enforcement source involved in the investigation. The boyfriend said the woman was acting delusional, claiming the president had placed Stamford under lockdown and that her house was under electronic surveillance, the source said.
He told police that she was suffering from post-partum depression, was having trouble sleeping and was on medication. (source)

see, it isn't an issue of her being "capable" of this. 
no onei repeat - no oneis above mental illness devouring them.
obviously, she was not well.
you don't need a PhD to see that.

it is so hard to read about miriam carey for so many reasons.
one is because my first thought was, "that could've been me."
another is the response by many to this horrific tragedy.
can we say triggering????
ppd is not an excuse or cop out.
it is deplorable to have people throw that out there.

postpartum depression is real and freaking serious.
postpartum psychosis likewise is real and freaking serious.
what the hell will it take for people to finally recognize this fact i have absolutely no idea.

i was breaking from reality.
there was tons of talk of me going on anti-psychotic drugs because it was so bad.
thank you, Lord, it lessened.
if you have not gone thru the descent into madness - you cannot fully grasp it.
i could not always see when i wasn't in 'real' reality.
my 'not real' reality was reality to me.
(confusing, but hope that makes sense)

i will never understand the unkindness toward the mentally ill.
i will never understand the non-belief.
i will never understand the things said in the presence of those suffering a mental illness by those who know someone is suffering from it (facebook included, people.)
i will never understand the stigma, the lack of love, the lack of care.
i will never understand the "pull it together".
and i will never accept any of that.

praying for that sweet baby.
thanking God that little life was spared.
praying for miriam's momma & boyfriend & all her family.
praying for all those involved yesterday.
praying for any & all witnesses.
thanking God for secret service and police who saved lives yesterday.
and so very thankful their lives were spared. 

so much we don't know and may not ever know.
but we do know this is tragic.
so tragic.
no need to make it worse.

1 comment:

  1. I was disgusted when I heard/read some of the outrageous comments about postpartum depression. The media is so powerful that they can TEACH everyone about mental illness...not contribute to the damaging stigma.
    No one knew that I had ppd. I wore make-up. I dressed like normal. My house was spotless...everything was the same...only I wasn't. People expect to see wild hair and killer in our eyes. It's awful.