.helpful things: a mesh.

one of the sweetest ladies i know asked if i could post about what is helpful.

(sorry for the like month long delay, friend!)
for some reason i have not been able to figure out how to write this down.

so, this will be ultra random.

using the worst grammar.

and a bunch of "*" signs.

this is just a list of stuff people have done that has been helpful.

it also includes some "do not do that" stuff as well.
+disclaimers are all at the end of this post.+

*finding iced oatmeal cookies on my doorstep.

*when i don't have to explain myself.
*asking questions. but with this in mind: going thru the grand inquisition is no fun.

*no judgement. honestly none. just love. this is the best. 

*when what i say goes no further. a trustworthy friend is a jewel.

*don't talk about me behind my back in the name of "care". you know the difference between really caring & gossiping.

*a good ear.

*bringing over white wine.

*hugs.

*finding a package on my porch full of things for the girlies, candy for me & a latte.

*not taking it personal when i go m.i.a.

*check-in's. landline, email, text, airmail, usps.

*a quick scripture.

*a good quote.

*not telling me (or others) because i'm laughing i must be fine.

*not comparing me.

*supporting me even if you don't "get it".

*believing me. oh, God, thank you specifically for the people who have believed me.

*finding a starbucks for me & art project for the girlies on the front porch.

*supporting my decision to be on medication. and not saying your mom or your cousin's dog walker got thru ppd it without. 

*let me talk. without judgement.

*do not make fun of me. 

*realize i'm just not "me" right now.

*ask my man what i need. i can't think. 

*but... do not pressure my husband. you suffocate him in the name of "care" - it is a big time trigger for me. and you end up on my list. and i'm cray cray, so you don't want that. ;)

*be gentle with me.

*be honest with me.

*the meals people have brought over. (thank you!)

*the grocery runs.
*people who have walked hard roads before me talking with me, listening, being available. 

*the sam's club runs.

*help wrapping christmas gifts.

*helping with the girlies.

*letting me cry.

*realizing i hate this more than anyone else & i'm fighting so hard to get better.

*not saying i look fine, so how can i say i'm not. or saying this to others.

*know i have people who are allowed to "get on me" about stuff. you don't need to.

*having me ambien text you & not judging. 

*telling me it's ok to be in this place because well, i am. & not pressuring me to be "better". if i could - i would, yo.

*reminding me this will end.

*letting me into your life & not holding back even though i'm not in the best of places. 

*calling to just say hi.
*understanding i am hurting right now. it means so much when people get that.
*cards in the mail.

*getting that i forget to make lunch - so if i don't reply to an email or text - it's me, not you.

*don't just say i have the baby blues.

*asking for a post on what is helpful. (b.b. - you are awesome!)

*praying for me.

this is just a small taste.
i'm major blessed.
i truly have some amazing people in my life.
and they do amazing things so above and beyond.
most of all my husband.
oh my goodness do i love that man.
& my oh my is he doing a fab job taking care of me & our 4 girlies.

ok, so hopefully this random mesh of a list is helpful.

annnnndddddddd.... here are the disclaimers:
+what is helpful for me may be major unhelpful for someone else.
+i am nooooo medical person, so yeah.
+don't scan this list & try to find yourself in a bad way. ;)
+you may have done something awesome that i appreciate that isn't on here.
+this list is rather blunt.
i am blunt-ish on this blog to serve others.
my sugar coating to not offend doesn't help other women.
the "it is just me" lie is too big & powerful.
it needs light shed on it in a very real way.